Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My friend, Anxiety

It's been burning in the depths of my mind for years. Gestation is almost complete. I have a clear image of what my baby will look like...how to feed and care for it, and help it grow into the strong and beautiful thing I know it will be. I am ready, eager, and more than capable. I am cool as a cucumber when I think about one year, two years, five years from now...

The forthcoming birth is the part that  fills me with anxiety. No, not that kind of anxiety. I don't need a pill to make it go away. It's not the kind of anxiety you feel in the principal's office, or the doctor's office, or the loan broker's office. It's the the kind of anxiety you feel when you finally work up the nerve to invite the object of your affection to dinner, when your parents drive you up to your dormitory two days before your freshman year of college starts, when you ask her to marry you...

I am filled with the anxiety that comes from making the decision to create relevant, lasting, positive change in one's life. I don't want a pill to make it go away. I don't want my Friend to go away.

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